* S H A T T E R E D dreams ]

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

" mhrap
pg may
problema ka
pag may
iniicp ka
pra lan
mkaiwas ka

hgit sa lhat...

ng iba..

pra lan mklimutan ung mhal m tlga! :( "

[ aiun. happie vday! ndi qoh nfil ang vday. bat gnun? it's lyk wen i woke up this morning it was lyk an ordinary day. den npa icp aq. i wuz thinking may occassion ngaun eh. but i dunno wat. so i looked at the calendar nd remembered. oh yeah. vday pla ngaun. yeah. hmn. onga vday. a tym for people to say " i love you " and " thank you " to all the people they luv nd even der enemies. hmn. yeah. ngwa qoh un. ngaun. but. bkt parang may kulang pa?

ders still sumthng missing.

kung baga parang dun sa puzzle. akala moh nbuo mo na nd u're ready to put it in a frame. pro den u noticed dat there's a blank space dun sa puzzle. so hnanap moh ung missing piece. but u can't find it. so the puzzle's left unfinshed. un nga. parang aqoh ngaun. akala qoh ngwa qoh n lhat. pro parang may nkalimutan aqng gwn eh. pro ndi qoh un alam. hmn. i don't get wat i said. weird.

bxta un. today. i'll forget about the hurt na naexperience qoh. i'll forget about the past. everythng. about dun sa person n un. 2day. kklimutan qoh na xa. na mnahal qoh p xa. i'll 4get abt the feelings that i got wen i met that person. KKLIMUTAN QOH NA ANG LHAT. kaia qoh toh! =)

yeah! go maRcie! hahah. ]

-- well. that felt a lot better! Ü --

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 5:48 PM

Friday, February 02, 2007

so. it's been quite a while since i've written here. and as usual. my last entry made no sense. it's just a song saying i love, goodbye to a person. hahah. nweii. back to reality. hmn.

feb. n pla. FEB. 2, 2oo7.

only 15 more days till i get another year older. i'm gonna be 13 yrs. old! hahah. yeah right. =p i wish.

hmn. a lot of really nice things happened to me in my 13- yr- old life.

i met lots of new friends. experienced a lot of adventure. accomplished a lot of things. realized a lot of stuffs. became a better person. =p and lots more.

tsaka madaming quotes ang nkapatama sa kin. hahah.

"if evr u'll find sumone hu makes u smyl through storms, comfort u till sundown. face the fact, kip nd never lt go of dat person. ders no 'right one' wen the 'real one' comes along!"

hmn. ay. gosh. i remembered. i still have something to do. whaha. more about reality later. hahah.

-- sorry if this made no sense again. as always =p --

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 7:34 PM

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye
I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand
I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart
I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye
Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you
Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye
Baby, its never gonna work out I love you, GOODBYE

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 6:02 PM

hmn.. so the real cheering practice already started yesterday.. and boy my body is so freakin' aching! argh.. part ako ng pyramid sa pep squad.. ako yung isa sa ihahagis nila.. whaha.. joke.. corny ko talaga! anyway.. so, the pyramid people didn't do anything yesterday.. tambay tambay lang sa field.. naka- upo.. kasama na rin ako dun..

then when i got home.. my legs we're soo sore.. even though i didn't exactly do anything during the practice.. i can't move well.. it's still aching right now.. waah! ano ba yan?!

then get this.. yung submission ng project namin sa computer which is flash is on monday and my flash ain't working normally.. argh! nakakainis! ayoko na ng flash.. it's so darn hard!

last wednesday night, malapit na ako matapos sana dun sa flash ko.. then i decided to save it.. when i was about to click the save button.. biglang may lumabas.. ERROR..

DARN iT!!!!!!!

then nawala.. all those hard work.. yung pagpupyat ko para lang dun sa darn na flash na yun.. nawala.. marami pa naman akong nagawa dun.. argh! darn!! #*@! tss! argh! darn!

ayoko na talaga.. so gumawa na lang ako ng bago.. it was working fine na.. i continued it today.. when i tried to play it.. darn it! darn it! darn it!

that stupid ERROR went out again..

ayaw nang gumana ng flash qoh!!!!

stupid!!! argh! ayaw ko na!

galit na ako.. i've had enough of this darn thing!!!!!!!!!


* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 1:07 PM

Thursday, December 28, 2006

hmn. it's been quite a wile since i last posted here. dami kasing nangyari these past few days eh. well. tapos na ang pasko. and i'd have to admit, spending christmas here in manila is fun. even though i'm not spending it with my cousins in romblon. sigh. i'm feeling homesick right now.

but i guess i'd have to get used to it. anyway, grabe. sooper boring dito sa bahay. wala akong matino na gawin. i mean. i start to do something tas mamaya, mabobored ako then i'll do something else, then get bored and it goes over and over again. just like a cycle. haii...

this december, andaming things na nngyari. daming unexpected things. pero yung pinaka masayang day this december is nung 20. sooper nag enjoy kasi ako with my new kada. Da Ring.

hind ko maexpect na magkakaroon kami ng bagong kada that day. we had so much fun. almost buong araw magkasama kaming lahat. although madyo bad yung start ng paglabas namin sa school coz may naiwan kaming dalawang tao sa csr. with out us noticing.. hahah..


grabe talaga yung mga expressions namin eh parang "ohmygod... oo nga pala! sila! san na nga ba?!" whahah! ansaya. tas pumunta kami sa bahay ni monica. which was really tiring. hindi naman pala masyadong malayo yung bahay nila... kung may transpo ka. whaha! gosh. first time kong maglakad ng gnun kalayo without any adults. heheh. tas ayun. when we went back to power, sumakay na lang kami ng jeep since pagod na pagod na kami. heheh.

then we got this weird idea. gusto namin bumili ng eyeliner. then umokay na lang sila. nung pagdating namin sa power, diretso kami sa beauty bar. whaha. i have no idea kung bakit beauty bar yung biglang pinuntahan namin. then nung tiningnan namin yung price ng eyeliner...


whaha! 350 pesos yung eyeliner. whaha. then again, yung expression namin parang "ay, sige, no thanks...hahah"

tas yung masayang part pa nung lakad namin, dami naming pictures sa power. parang first time kami nakapunta dun. whaha. we even got a picture sa may malaking christmas tree dun. haii... ang saya talaga namin nun. super bonded kami that day. sayang nga lang pagdating namin sa school, nagkahiwa- hiwalay na kami. then hindi na kami sama sama pagdating ng battle. tuloy, hindi ako masyadong nag enjoy coz hindi ko kayang magwala dun kung hindi ko sila kasama eh. heheh.

hmn. dami kong nakuen2 ngayun. kahit i know na medyo late ko na nakuen2 yung nangyari sa 2o. ngayun ko lang kasi narealize kung how much fun i had nung 2o eh.

thanks so much Da Ring! super pinasaya niyo ako sa day na yun! wee! luv yah guys so much.

Da Ring:










* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 10:50 AM

Thursday, December 14, 2006

EXAMS. one word that's been making me so jumpy these days. that's one of the reasons why i'm getting these weird feelings. okay, i'm so not ready for the exams.

it's like. na bitin ako sa quarter na toh.

but i don't say that they should make this quarter longer. i just mean that, TIME IS SO FAST. one minute we were practicing for our intrams, then the next minute, we're studying for our exams.


but n e ways, one good thing happened to me. not just GOOD... but GREAT... AWESOME!

i found my wallet. no one got it. but i found it already!

when i got home, i immediately looked for my wallet again. then when i looked in one corner of the room, i found it. it must have fallen while i was fixing my bag. i'm so happy!

grabe. buti na lang hindi nawala yung wallet ko. kasi yung wallet na yun, sobrang importante sa akin. andaming things na naka-ipit dun.

thank goodness.

well... this will be my last entry for this week. i've got to focus in my exams first. starting tomorrow.

and oh yeah, tibo pala ako during examinations. and yung meaning ko ng tibo for me is boy- hater and walang paki sa mga boys. ndi yung tibo na nagkakagusto sa girl or stuffs like that. hahah. so, tibo ako. kaya, ala muna akong gusto kay sam or kung kanino mang lalaki dyan. peio, right after the exams, well, gurly gurl na uli ako! yeah! whahah.

well, this ends my entry. sna maging maganda yung results ng exams ko.

see yah. :)

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 2:37 PM

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

masaya ako ngayon. ewan ko lang kung bakit. whahah.

but one thing's for sure...


and happier than ever.

cheerful na uli ako. i'm already smiling. and my smile's bigger than ever. i'm back! yeah, i know that i just said yesterday that i wanted the old mara back.

and here she is. i'm back. and i'm so happy about it. i had my early Christmas gift already. ang babaw ko noh?.

but at least... bumalik na ako. :)

ayun. nasa school ako ngayon. computer class. and bored na talaga ako. i have nothing to do. except this. hahah. so, there.

yeah! this post made sense! a first time in this month! i'm so glad. :)

i feel so good right now. and natutuwa talaga ako.

I'M BACK! :)

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 7:44 AM

Monday, December 11, 2006

i can't still seem to forget what happened last saturday. i can't get that thing out of my mind. i can still remember every single reply i got from that person. hmn.

WEiRD! hahah!

okay. ang weird. di pa rin ako makapaniwala sa sinabi sa akin ni limbeth earlier this day.


shocks. shoot. shootness. omigoodness. holy cheese.

okay, i've said at least all the shocked-word expressions that i know. but this discovery was purely shocking. REALY SHOCKING.

hindi ko ma-expect na ganun siya sa akin. i mean. woah lang talaga eh.

and again.

mara mendoza made this entry a nonsense entry once more, folks.

she's getting more insane each day, getting more confused in each freakin' hour and getting lots of nervous feelings more than a regular person has.

ang tagal pa kasi ng big day eh.

why can't it come more faster? wha- more faster? lemme rephrase that.


i'm too excited. i just have to chill and be patient for that day to come.

malapit na rin kasi dumating eh. if i want that day to come already, i should deal with a lot more sacrifices. exams na rin kasi next week. i have to focus on my studies first before anything else.

besides, studies pa rin top priority ko. yeah!

hmn. darn it. we have rehearsals omorrow in ccp. we're going to have our annual recital on the 16th. then, i'll be coming home tomorrow at around 8:30 and we have a LOOONG test in our science subject and math too. darn it! arrggh! i;m soo peroccupied this week.

plus, i still have to do our investigatory project. we're gonna make recycled paper. nice. i already have all the materials i need and i already know all the procedures. but the question is. will it work? will it be successful?

a lot of things have been bugging my mind lately. hmn. i have to get these things out of mind. clear my thoughts. exams are coming already and i'm still not ready. clear my thoughts. ho-hum. phew. think straight. forget all the problems you're having, mara. phew. i miss the old me. i miss the cheerful me. the one who always smiles despite all the problems i'm having.

pede nio ba akong tulungan? ibalik yung dating mara. gawin niyo akong cheerful uli at pala- smile. please? :) i would really love it if the old mara will be back.

hmn. i think that the best gift i would ask for Christmas is for the old mara to be back. coz pag nabalik yun, magiging sobrang saya ako. :)

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 6:21 PM